Monday, July 9, 2012

Olympic Trials and Armpit Tribulations

The Krussel family thoroughly enjoyed watching all of the Olympic Trials.  While I cried watching Proctor and Gamble commercials about Olympian Moms, my children attempted to mimic the butterfly stroke on dry land, belittled the pure athleticism required to pole vault, and then finally settled into a serious discussion about armpit hair.  Mabel is only seven years old but she has serious concerns about men, their armpit hair and whether or not it's really appropriate  to have armpit hair at the Olympic Trials. 

As we jumped from gymnastics to swimming to track and field, Mabel's stream of consciousness began..... 
 "I would definitely shave it if I were a swimmer. I totally get why they do it.  Why did God put hair there? Girls don't have it."  Of course Meg had to chime in and explain that yes,  girls do have armpit hair which was disturbing to Mabel.  "Why do we have to shave it and guys don't?  Oh, that guy got a lower score because he didn't shave his pits. No one wants to see that.  Do those big ladies who do the shot-put shave their pits?  Maybe armpit hair gives you extra strength. Isn't there a guy in the bible whose armpit hair gave him extra strength?  What does armpit hair look like on the jumbotron?  Those people paid good money and they don't want to see armpit hair.  Think of  the Memaws who are watching and have to see that.  Clearly all the girls shave in all the that like a rule or could I grow some hair and scare people? I totally don't get this steeple chase thing."

During a short pause, Meg chimed in and said, "I think the runners with the holes in their shirts think that they are faster.  I don't understand why you wear a sleeveless shirt and then put on sleeves that don't connect."  Those two little sentences sent Mabel back into her rant.  "Duh, Meg, they do that so that they can show off their armpit hair." 

 The rant continued. "What do you think Gus, does that guy have hair or no hair? Hurry up and vote because he's almost done and then his arms go up!!!!  I'm going to go with hair because he looks like a guy that would keep his hair."  During post race interviews Mabel would scream at the tv, "put your arms you have hair or no hair?"

All of the Olympic Trial armpit discussion took the issue to another level. Gus appeared in his boxers with his sidekick, Mabel and their jubilation could not be contained. Mabel gleefully announced that she had discovered an armpit hair on Gus.  This was big breaking news around here.  Gus actually  shared his sisters excitement. "Do you want to see it?"  Mabel chimed in and said, "I know it's real because it hurts him when I pull on it and I see his skin pull up too! Oh and Gus checked me and I don't have any hairs yet."
Do I feel shameful in sharing this with all of you?   No, not really.  These are the discussions that I will one day look back on and terribly miss (of course this requires that my children actually mature and cease discussions of this kind....fingers crossed!)  Besides, Mabel should have the armpit hair issue out of her system shortly and that means we can move on to the Higgins Boson and Arafat's possible poisoning.  And then when the London games begin, I'm sure armpit hair discussions will reemerge with an international flare. 

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